I feel awful .. I feel awful!!

I'm losing my best freind...and I don't think we will have our freindship back.. even if I would, there would be always cracks. I feel alone without her in my life.

My other best freind is married and, with having a baby each year she has no time for freinds...

I'm shocked of some family members how they showed their true colors to me. I don't remeber I did something bad to anyone, but they are hypocrites and two-faced. finally to know that.

I hate ppl around me.. I hardly have a conversation with someone..I go to work, get back home, sleep, then to the gym, that's all. I can't feel better...

before I sleep I cry, to release all these emotions and all what I have gone through my day.. I have a family gathering now and I'm here writing on my blog. I don't wamt to join. I just feel weird among the hypcrites. I feel so alone. and I need my freind. but she feels nothing towards me..