Learning cooking... without starting a fire!

Why on earth am I willing to learn cooking?
Well, it's NOT 'cos:
1. It serves me when no one around to cook for me, otherwise, I would die of hunger.
2. Nor it's a good way to keep a man if you are married, since the common perception among Arab women is that "the easiest way to the man's heart is through his stomach" or, like, "full his tummy, and close his mouth".
3. or Cooking is a good exercise to burn some calories.
The reasons above that are supposed to persuade people (especially women) to learn cooking are not convincing enough for me 'cos:
1. The tons of Indomi noodels bags inside our kitchen's cabinets can perfectly serve me when no one is around to cook for me, all what I have to do is to empty the Indomi's content into boiling water, wait for 5 min, then it's ready to eat, easy peasy, & in case we run out of Indomi nooels, I can order, if I run out of money I can steal from mom (just being humorous, don't believe), at WORST, I would phone our neighbor and ask him to do the gentlemanly thing, he's a good cook. So I won't die if there is no one around to cook for me, no one die 'cos they are not good cooks, I've not heard of something like this ever beofre.
2. It's DEFINITELY not the easiest way to the man's HEART, it's an old fashion to think this way, HELL it doesn't work now in the age of Haifa whibi and Paris Hilton! Sorry, I won't spend my time among kitchen's aromas cooking for prince charming while he keeps drooling over Haifa & Paris each time they show up on TV or a magazine, just hearing Haifa's sexy chuckle or watching Paris batting her curved eyelashes would be enough to make him forget the way to the kitchen, I'd better learn how to imitate Haifa's laugh or how Paris bats her lashes to win him over instead of working on being the super talented cook for him as it's supposed to be the easiest way. Perhaps they can manage their stomachs, but I'm not sure about their lusts, I mean they don't look for a chief to share their lives with, miss perfect shouldn't be the perfect cook… just a thought….

3. Kitchen VS Gym? Stupid comparison, being in the kitchen is not as enjoyable & effective as when exercising at the GYM. The kitchen sink job isn't as effective as swimming in a pool. I would prefer the later than swimming in my own sweat in the kitchen.

Being in the holy month; it's a good opportunity to learn how to cook some recipes, not the complicated ones though, ya3ni I won't start with for example, Harees or Baryani, especially Harees, it needs a skill, if you can cook it, then you sure are able to make any recipe perfectly & easily. SO, I had better start with a recipe that's not so complicated, not long, & effortless (tea :P). I have been browsing the 6 cookbooks we have in our kitchen; but I couldn't find the recipe that suits me, perhaps I could search the cooking web sites for more recipes. Also, I so would love to learn making the meat balls (Kebba), I fancy it, our Syrian friends are no longer around, they took a leave to England. And since then, I have not had their yummy meat balls, and what we order from restaurants & the ready frozen balls aren't as delicious. On the other hand, they so miss our Arabic coffee we make, they love it and mom used always to make 2 coffee thermal pitcher, one keep it at home, and send the other to them, always and every morning for 6 years until they decided to leave. Miss them and their Kubba (Or Kebba?), I pronounce it Kubba, lol.

The last time I entered the kitchen for cooking purpose was in last Ramadan, I made a salad that contains Tuna & toasts cubes mixed with lettuce & capsicum chopped into tiny pieces, to be perfectly honest with you, it looked pretty GROSS, and no one ventured to try even a spoonful, and unfortunately my dish ended up being in the trash can, so only the trash can accepted to swallow what I mad. perhaps it's cos of the Tuna's type I used; it wasn’t the good type so it gave a bad flavor to the salad, or maybe I replaced one ingredients with the wrong one, I dunno, something went wrong, I follow the procedures word by word, maybe it's just what's called "Al-Nafass" that my sis always accuses me of not having it when I happen to cook, "AL-Nafass", I don't have an English word that could properly describes this word, but I can explain it, it's when 2 people, cook the same recipe, have the same ingredients, the same measurements, and follow EXACTLY the same steps, and yet get different results, and their cook have different flavor, that's called "Al-Nafass", the person who's got "AL-Nafass" quality, his cooks are always yummy in a unique way.. even if you follow the same steps and procedures, you'll not be able to get the same result if you luck of Al nafas ;), and this Al-nafas thingy is on the top of my list of the impossible things that I can never get in my life. Anywayz, I was holding my big dish looking at them pleadingly, I begged them, my sisters, mom, & the maid to taste some, just taste some, and then you can judge, regardless of how it looks, it might taste good, "it looks YUCKY, I suppose it will be worse in our stomachs, kleeh bro7ich O_o" my sis said bluntly, how cruel & pathetic. Though, it didn't look that bad, it was just that the ingredients were a bit sticky and clumped, plus the smell was not a familiar smell of salad at all, not that stinky though… it was bearable, but, like I said, may be the tuna's type. After all my attempts to persuade them to taste my cook failed and no one gave a damn to my demands, I decided to try it myself; I did and felt like vomiting really, it's indeed gross! >.< it tasted as if it was mixed with a type of liquid flu medicine, I dunno how or why it turned out like that, but they were right; it looked yucky and even worse in the mouth. I gave up, after receiving a good amount of jokes & laughs…well.. 3ady
Despite of my last unsuccessful experience in the kitchen, I've decided to try my luck once again.
Me: I want to cook you something …
Mom: like what?
Me: I dunno! something for Dinner for example….
Mom +sisters: anything BUT DINNER!! They jumped down my throat they didn't give me the chance to continue my suggestion…. my sis went on "choose something fits your level at cooking… sorry, we want to have something proper for dinner. Sahymeeen 6oooool elyom O eventually nef6r 3ala something that's unfit for human consumption??" O_o, unfit for HC? Laish did I say I would cook some stuffed mice? Or fried cockroaches? Worms soup?, cockroaches are fit for HC in some countries btw " you could make something else, like… appetizers, or any small meal…but NOT the main course, yalla 3ad!!" my sis went on.

Me: something fits ma level? like the effortless semi-ready recipes u show off that u make,,, she knows noting in the world of kitchens but to prepare recipes that contains TOAST, and adds only something easily-prepared like a filler or ketchup on the top or sometimes rolls it and get it stuffed with vegetables, and keeps reminding us of her achievement for years.

Sis: AT LEAST I did something useful, unlike you.

mom: she's right, you have nothing but lying down on there 24/7 O_o, get off your backside a bit; think for once to master something in your life O_o, to do something properly, poor the one who would marry you, are you going to order ready meals forever? ……………….etc
Pardon me? What are the loads of the Asian maids in almost every Emiratie house for? Get real now, if you really want me to cook and help in the house chores, send your maids back, lets see how you would handle it, how would our houses be without them, in this case, sure we would all die, yes, nothing work without those maids of the magical powers, they are as important as the UAE's petroleum, even more important, we can't go without them, if they just knew how much they are valuable to us they would take advantage of it and use it as a weapon and get as much as they wish,, Seriously why should I bother when every thing is ready and done for me?. I turned the table over mom's head. Mom's a great cook btw, but most of the time she doesn’t cook, she mostly depends on the maids, except for Harees & coffee, the maids are unable to make it as delicious as mom does so she has to make it on her own or at least to supervise.
I don't think cooking is a basic skill one must learn (a personal opinion), it's not interesting for me plus it's a very boring chore especially when having long procedures, chopping, packing, grating, frying ,,etc. I prefer to go for cleaning my own bathroom than to be in the kitchen for cooking, cleaning is less boring and you can sing in the process, it's fun. But again, that doesn't mean I am not going to give another try, I'll try to make it enjoyable & fun, I'll talk about the results in a new post (IF the results will be worth of course), & I'll try to support it by a couple of pictures by my mobile's camera (Samsung) and it sucks, I haven't get the 400D canon camera yet, I've got some priorities to get first then the canon 400D's turn will come.
I wish my self a happy and "safe" cooking! ;)