Men Shun Women who study abroad, in a 'male chauvinist pigs' dominant Society.

What provoked me to write is this article in the National newspaper.

First off, I'm not talking about gender discrimination in terms of govermental/political laws/rules because we have females who are in positions of power and I'm proud of them, but I'm talking about it in terms of cultural and social beliefs and customs and how being a female is a pain in the butt in a male dominant society.
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SO, I won't waste your time by telling you how *I*, as an Educated UAEian woman, feels about this issue. Instead, and to make my article more FUN for you guys, I thought of a way to show you the backward mentaliteis in a society that's supposed to be "modern" and "civic".

We have the world's biggest airport, the largest malls and hotels, the tallest towers, and we haven't hit by recession they say, right? so it just sounds for many it's the perfect flowless place to live in, we have every thing tallest biggest largest most powerful etc.....NOT when we start talking about MENTALITIES and "BRAINS" of our chuvinist pigs though.

I've brought up this topic in one of the Emiratei forums (puplished in Arabic) and COLLECTED a GOOD amount of "valuable points of view".

I have posted this question and asked everyone to participate:

"Do you agree to marry a woman who had lived abroad alone for like 6 or 5 years for the sake of study? If you agree, tell your reason, & If you don't, why not?"

After a few days of debate with the members (mostly males) of that forum, I finally got this message when I was trying to log in to continue driving them nuts:

لقد تم حظرك للسبب التالي:
تهجم على الأعضاء ونعتهم بالمتخلفين

Translation of the message I got: You've been banned for the following reason: Attcking members and calling them rednecks!

LOL! They also deleted the whole thread I posted.

I didn't attack anyone. But their loss was obvious. They banned me because they couldn't prove and back up their stupid and sexist ideas that suppress women's rights. I was too quiet, reasonable and objective handling the discussion. But I did called their way of looking at matters backward. Yes I did. Then the admin (A female!!) has banned me. She didn't even participate in the dicussion, she just chose to watch. I think she is an airhead who needs to know more about her suppressed rights where she's living, she thinks being an admin online is enough, show me how powerful you are in person in your society, just an inferior kitten I suppose. Riddiculous. Even girls here have been brainwashed to become their own enemies, unfortunately. I will give reasons for why this occur among some of our girls later in my article. I consider my self lucky, among so many comments from the Emirati guys (I got rocketed by 6 - 7 pages of comments where I posted), I've found 3, there were ONLY 3 Emirati guys who showed positive & refreshing views and said YES, we WOULDN'T mind marrying such a woman for she will be a knowlegable, understandable and good wife, and one of the three started his answer with this statement:

"Wain hee hi? Aba azzawajha al7een!" means, where can I find such a girl? I wanna marry her right now" in a way to show his supporting views, and he mentioned he wasn't against any woman that wants to go after her dreams. I told him we want to clone you to increase the likes of you in number in such a society.
One of the positive ones is married and he said he met his wife "in a class" when they both were abroad for study. She was his classmate. Another positive comment came from an Emirati girl whose her sister studied abroad for 6 years and now she's married and has kids and enjoy a happy life with her husband as she mentioned.

The rest ones were just bullshitting about things like" sharaf(honor)" "3aib(shame)" and 3adatna O taqaleedna (our customs and traditions), and Haram, or prohibited.
One of these sexists even wished for me to get married to a HIPPY who bears no principles and who agrees with and support my "liberal/secular views", as he claimed.

I was reading their comments and rolling on the floor luaghing. I think the hippy is way better and easeir to put up with than a redneck.

That was fun, I was called a "liberal" and accused of 'secularism' just cause I think there is no problem for a woman to get her education overseas if she would like to or if that was her desire, I was called a liberal cause I believe studying abroad has NOTHING whatsoever to do with her "honor or purity". But they never understand, these kinds never get anything across or even try to, I was beating dead donkeis. How sad, unfortunate and difficult for women to be born in a society dominatd by such suppressing mentalities.

I went on debating with them, and asked them to help me get the following across:

How come when a woman goes to study abroad, she becomes impure and may even be believed that she's brought shame to her family name, when a guy goes to study abroad, he is successful and aspirant and a role model to his counterparts?

Yes the majority think like that, but the FACT actually when women study abroad, they come back home with their degrees and becomes real assist to their country and a source of pride to their families, when males go to study aborad, they come back with some sexaul fantasies accompanied with some weird and funky hair styles and clothes trends, that's if the pure-angelic-flowless creatures COULD manage to keep their virginity intact during their stay. I would know, I have seen real-life examples, I'm not making up storeis like those or making gender based judgments, I'm not sexist like others, It's just the case for many of our pure-angelic-flowless chauvinist pigs. :]

Those who travel for sex to fornicate with Asians prostitutes in some Asian countries and get back with loads of diseases to spread among their pure and innocent wives isn't an issue in our society, women who get their 'Education' overseas IS. It's only fair, isn't it?

I think I talked alot. Let's enjoy the answers (written in Arabic and I've translated them to english):

What between the brackets are my own comments:

Retarded#1(male):
Of COURSE I don't agree with women studying abroad alone even if she lived among females in an all-females dormitory .There are lots of issues going on in these placess, what if something bad happens to the girl, how would she handle it alone? what would happen to her being alone? I don't
agree for the following reasons: for the girl's safty, for her morality(as if she was going to study prostitution loooool), there are chances that she will come back rebeling her own culture, traditions and customs. Note that I don't mind her travel with one of her brothers in case they are willing to study overseas too, then, she will be safe and has someone to protect her and rely on while being there. The guys themselves need a help when they go abroad, how about a gril. The country is providing ((((((all types of Educations))))))) and studies for females, no need to study abroad. WHy expose her self to danger?

Retarded#2(male):

I don't agree, I'm against. Isn't there another way to feed her kids other than going abroad?


Retarded#3(male):
Absolutely, I don't. Especially if she went alone.


Retarded #4(male):
I don't agree with a girl traviling abroad 'just for the sake of study' (cause you can't even spell your own lang. right-- his short answer was full of spelling mistakes)

Retarded#5(male):
I don't encourage any girl to study outside her country. Even if her family fully trusted her, no one knows what would happen(!!!) or how things would change. if she has to, it's preferable to take a Mehrem (=Male Guardian) with her.

Retarded#6(male):

In my book, there's no "traveling abroad". (In his book, there were lots of spelling mistakes too).

Retarded #7 (male):
Call me a redneck, a backward, or call me whatever you would like, I'm proud to be labeled so when I'm only trying to protect my women's reputation and keep them decent ones!!

Retarded#8 (male):
There's no way to marry a woman who had been alone for years in a foreign country dealing with strangers and exposing herself to foreign cultures, customs and people.

Retarded#9 (male):

Women were created for their kids serving and their husbands' pleasure only!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (The comment of this pig made my blood boils the most).

I say, all of you are just a bunch of retardeds who need to spell their own language a better way!! Ironically, their posts were full of spelling mistakes while they were making their "valuable points" on "educated women". LOL. How ridiculouse!

I wasn't so surprized actually reading the mens' responds, but, obveiously, women, as I've already mentioned, have been brainwashed to accept the discrminating ideas/rules that the males dominant society emposes on them.

Let's read one of the UAEians girls answer:

The credulous wrote:

Ana thed thed thed !! (means, I am against against agaisn!! I disagree). Aren't there universities in our country for her to go abroad?

Then she went on screaming:

Mosta7eeeeeeel Mosta7eeeeel mamnooo3 O_o..The girl SHOULD stay home and study home with the presence of her own family, it's better for her than traveling to a foreign country, SECOND, it's HARAM (gave her self the right to be a female Mofti) for the woman to travel alone without a Mehrem (=Male Guardian). And forgive me if I'm so frank and this is how my opinion. (she also needs to work more on her spelling mistakes in Arabic which a primary school student could manage to avoid).

Another brainwashed one said:

Oh, sister, It's just difficult for a man to accept a woman who once had been abroad alone. I don't say it's impossible, but it's difficult.

I got really surprized of how she sounds accepting this, and even support it, I asked her to answer my question:

Would you find it difficult to marry a man who once been abroad alone? would you be unsure about his "purity"? Would you think he became a questionable person and refuse to marry him? The answer is known, you wouldn't, and you'll be proud to marry such an educated man!

She didn't answer my question, she came back to suggest deleting my thread. Cause my question made her appear a deceived fool. She is. Poor she.

Now, most of young ladies including my freinds would agree completely that we women are suppressed in our society and we bitch about it frequently, however, I have come to find that many also who are satisfied with the current situation they live in, and those whome I want to execute.
Maybe they were brought up to believe they are less, or they should be inferior, maybe it's due to the fear of being judged, or maybe they were brought up with such ideas and get used to them, maybe, but, I, personally, grew in such suppressing sexist environemnt, but I NEVER EVER accepted the situation I live in or even believed it's the way it should be for me as girl.

I will end their comments, with this comment for it was the most disastrous:

The Liar wrote:

The prophet said: I6leb(for a man) al 3lem,, not I6leBI (for a woman) al 3ldm....translation: he's refering to the prophet's (peace be upon him) Hadeeth about encouraging people to seek knowledge, and he claimed that the prophet limited the knowledge expanding/seeking for only males by using the male pronuon only. The ignorant. For non-arabic speakers, in Arabic language this is called 'Jam3 Taghleeb'; when you converse with many people you use male pronoune but you refer to both men and women, it's something found in many languages. What even worse, he attributed false stuff to the prophet that he didn't even say. The prophet also said "do charity" and "Pray" using a male pronoun, does that mean only men have to do charity or pray? simply....they are not able even to comprehend their own language!!


Do you guys wanna read more? I have lots more if you want, or let's just stop here?

I just pray for my sanity. I'm not asking for much from those people and their likes, but I'm asking everyone to be logical and a little more fair and easy on women folks. We are a part of this society too, and despite the cultural/social restrictions we endure we account for about 60% of the work market, the educated women are MORE in number than the educated men, yet we are still gender-discriminated against and treated as inferior and less creatures.

They rant about culture and traditions and customs, what are those? Pardon me, is it a Quran or something from the sky that cannot be adapted or changed or even abandoned? Why should I be expected to believe in or do what my gramma believed in or did 100 years ago? Why do yo impose on TODAY'S WOMEN what the society imposed on their GRANDMOMS a hundred years ago? Okay, why don't men just throw away their cars and use camels to go to go work? Wasn't that what theri Grandfathers did back in the days?! Why the interdictions our society imposes on us females are still valued and treated as if they came down from the sky?! And if you go against them or even show your opposite views you will be called names and accused of being a secular or a hippy or even a whore. Why can't we just resort to Quran and the prophet and learn how they valued and appreciate women.Why when it comes to women, the sexists pigs start talking about religions and traditions but when it comes to their own pleasures and "Wanasah" they slip off all these and become their own Mofties and don't even give a damn? the social/cultural restricting beliefs, tradions, to some, are more important than Quran. Can't we just make some slight alterations, just slight ones to be able to keep pace with the 21st centurey and make our lives easier? isn't it the time to dust our brains?

A month ago, I had a meeting with one of the Deans in the UAE University (Emirati, ~50 old, Harvard gradute, & super gentle), we talked about this very issue, I had a long conversation with him, he agreed with all what I said, except for that we cannot change anything, we need time, a long long time for a change to occure. And I believe he's right, we have nothing but to cope with such society. He also told me about his daughter, she is at my age, and she's now studying where her father was 30 years ago, in Harvard university, he said she also always bitches alot about our gender discriminating cultue, I told him she really shouldn't bitch about anything when you are her father, as a compliment. There was a funny part in my conversation with the dean, before I left, he asked me to imagine that I am holding Alla'a Edden's magic lamp and the Geni is coming out of the lamp now, lol, and he asked me to imagine that he's the Geni and asked me to tell him my 3 wishes that I want to come true, I said I have only one wish, and I told him about it. I also wished to clone the dean to increase his likes in number in our society.

Progress isn't only constructing the highest towers or the biggest hotels pardon me, the true progress in our country should work on humans themselves, on their "BRAINS" not constructions, the mentalities of 'most' people here are the lowest in the country of the world's tallest buildings.

PS: Calling me a hippy won't work. If being reasonable, fair & logical's regarded as hippiness, then I'm a proud hippy.